Is it a sexual exercise?
Men with erection problems ask: is pornography good or bad for erection quality? Some professionals disagree with my views how porn impacts erectile dysfunction
Sex and our emotions is so complex I believe not many actually even begin to understand it - so it is better not to talk about it all! For me it is an irony that one of the biggest selling books of last decade was 50 Shades of Grey yet here I am rightly or wrongly trying to defend porn.
In 2018 I made a video for YouTube - about the benefits of relaxation and smiling - in particular for helping psychological aspects of the erection process. It worked so well that I got a semi erection purely from smiling - no touching or stimulation other than my smile!. This played for over a year on YouTube and was my most watched video. It was about smiling and a sexual response so all rather nice - or so I thought! YouTube banned it last year. It's a funny world/society!
I give my viewpoint below and it would be great to hear yours too as I believe we all have different influences here that can alter our views.
Older guys with erection concerns tend to think the problem health related or of a psychological nature.
Younger guys who come to see me - concerns can be regarding pornography.
Yet often when we are younger - our anxiety levels can be high - where do we fit into the world - plus we expect to be able to perform on command like the stories from our peers. Yet as we get older we realise thee stories may be exaggerated and then we gain context.
Perhaps at any age we like to know where we are on the scale, but younger guys, possibly subjected to more false stories, can gain a false indication where they are on the scale, which does not always help anxiety.
Often the problem can be performance anxiety - not porn.
Some of my job involves talking - finding out about personalities and behaviours in order to help erection quality (which is such a complexly personal subject) This has given me a great perspective upon porn - and changed my opinions, as i use to believe what I was told by other professionals.
A Provocative Video
Is it Porn?
Is it Bad?
We all may watch films and realise that sometimes the likes of James Bond and other characters are not realistic - with almost superhuman qualities at fighting, escaping, shooting - not to mention the sexual conquests.
However if we watch porn are we always remembering some is more real than others - just like films, there is some creativity at work. For example to stay erect some porn actors have penile injections as well as support staff there to help them be aroused and stay aroused.
Plus we need to be mindful of the percentages of porn actors that can successfully perform compared to the ones that can't manage it for whatever reason.
It perhaps can be in part due to the stigma of porn that these things are not always spoken about. The comparison again to Action adventure films - they are spoken about and we all know about stunt men and body doubles - aware of the work that goes into misleading the audience to believe that a particular scene is real or natural. Pornography tends to be less spoken about and we may not always be aware of the lengths the actors go to.
Then there is the real porn where there may be real people filming themselves and not actors. The ones we may view are a small percentage of sex scenes - how many people don't post things because it did not look that great - only the good films get posted in the first place. Then only the top few of these get viewed more and therefore pushed higher up the chart. Again what the numbers are - who knows but very few will get promoted and easily findable after a few months.
Pictures can be the same - if you have a big penis - you're more likely to take a picture of it and post it!
The bigger the penis - the more likely it will be viewed more.
However in real life penis size is of far less consequence than looks and personality - to many people. Yet a quick look at porn or sex blogs can cause a problem with anxiety - as there's a danger we get a false indication of average. Penises we are seeing are most definitely not the average! See my article on penis size.
Secondly for believing that is the attraction - it maybe the 'pull' in the fake internet world, but in real life we all know it is about the whole person, but this has a danger of leave us fixated on penis size and performance. But if we know that porn is not a fair or real representation of male form or behaviour that is a healthier mindset. We do it with books and films - now perhaps time for some realism in social media and porn.
Perhaps once we have this realism and are fully aware about porn it can become valuable - again a comparison to the arts or films -inspiration for all sorts of guys to do all sorts of things - broadening the horizons with travel, culture, arts, not to mention adventure.
Perhaps porn can in context do the same - allow us to see and explore new things such as bondage or revisit old ones such as intimacy, whatever does it for you. Again a complex subject but to just simply say porn is bad or good is like judging the film industry - which can be very valuable to society - just look at the rise of Netflix. However some may argue this is not good for society! But we all know most things on Netflix mislead us to entertain us, if we keep in mind the same for porn perhaps that it is entertainment capable of inspiring.
To judge porn would perhaps be like saying all films are bad! There's comedy, action, thriller, love - all sorts, yet there is the same widespread choice in porn - soft loving porn - to full on extreme stuff, we are all different and like different things!
Perhaps behaviour or how social media expects us to behave can be more damaging. Here I am talking about hook ups where where relative strangers can meet up for sex. I am not judging anyone but this is not for everyone. Sometimes perhaps we can wrongly assume we are failing because we cannot perform in such a situation. We may like the idea, but when it actually comes to it we may not be able to perform, but this is due to our personality - but nonetheless can lead to guys thinking they have an erection problem when they don't. It is purely our make up. Some can do it some can't - just depends how we're wired!
I don't mind admitting it - I actually love porn - it is as nice in my life as Netflix! But just like some things on Netflix I know are exaggerated and not a true representation of male behaviour I equally view porn in the same way - with my eyes open! (sometimes really wide lol)
I can definitely say porn has been so great for me as a person, giving me ideas to try - things I'd never have even thought about doing and ways to understand my body more. One such event happened yesterday which is perhaps too much information for here (I'd be embarrassed to be that open) but writing about it now is making me hard. A great example of how that boosts sexuality within us - raising testosterone levels and relaxing me.
We have night time erections to keep the penile tissue oxygenated and flexible, a few more in the day can be great for our health and if like the one I have now - induced by porn - who cares what the reason (as long as it is not illegal or immoral). .It is good for helping me feel more sexual and therefore healthier! As long as it does not effect our mental health - in the right context I think porn can be great for helping us actually become healthier as long as we remember what is real and what is not - just like a film!
There are quite a few professional people that disagree with my views on porn - stating that it leads to people seeking more and more extreme events, Yet the same does not happen in the film industry - we can watch comedy and thrillers but don't keep seeking more extreme stuff more the case that our interests or tastes develop. There may be well the odd individual that seeks more and more extreme violence but that doesn't result in professions stating the film industry is bad. Our tastes in films and the arts, I think evolves and grows - just like with pornography. They both cause us to perhaps be inquisitive and explore new things and appreciate new - as long as we have some realism and take them both for what they are: entertainment - not real!
What do you think - it would be great to get others views upon this.